Compensatory Eating Behaviour

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I’ve always loved food: loved cooking, eating, talking about food or just spending time at fancy little restaurants. Unfortunately, when I started the university, I desperately tried to find my place and my people, whatever it takes.

I believed, I needed to be perfect. So I began excessively exercising and obsessively counting calories. Add to that OCD and ADHD and, eventually, I got anorexia and bulimia. I thought I’ve been perfectly organising my life in order to deal with stress, but instead, I’ve created even more chaos. I’ve been feeding my negative thoughts, feelings, and impulses instead of looking for the roots of them.

Identifying the reason why you are feeling the certain way isn't easy or quick, but once you understand the reasons behind your emotions, you can use that to help you eliminate negative factors, in order to take first steps towards your better place.

Breakfasts we hate or how to ruin your day...

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When I first started my journey with so called “healthy” eating, all I cared about was a weight loss. I’ll never forget one summer spent in a company of buckwheat, cottage cheese and my own despair. I starved myself and I thought I’ve had everything under control. And all because far back in 2014 I became obsessed with the idea that we must drastically reduce everything we consume after 12 p.m.

So, no bread, fat or even fruits after noon. What's left is suffering, with a little bit of cottage cheese. That is when breakfast came to be my life saver. Fruits, whole-grain bread, olive oil, cookies and even dark chocolate as a prize I never deserved - it felt so good! No wonder, all I could think about were breakfast planning ideas and nothing more.

It's been 7 years and I'm slowly learning to live without my eating disorder. And yet, it seems like that “healthy breakfast ideas” stuck with me forever. Come on, everyone! Wake up, do the workout and have your oatmeal with chia seeds and banana [or salmon sandwich, spinach omelette, protein powder pancakes - put anything you want]. Awesome start for an awesome day, filled with energy and only positive emotions. Just one little thing. Oatmeal makes me anxious. I feel sick after eating fish in the morning. Protein pancakes… ugh, just disgusting. I'm sure all of you have your own examples! The thing is, dieting culture tends to forget that no two people in the world share identical eating preferences. Don't like avocado? Make cheese toast, just think about your favourite vegetables you could add. In the mood for something sweet? Have your cake and eat it too! But remember, everything in moderation.

Choose your breakfast by listening to your body and responding to your emotions. Maybe then, just a little bit, we'll make this day brighter.